Tuesday, December 20, 2011

One more time?!

"Eat This!" "Eat That!" "Zumba!" "Run!" "Walk!" "What about a salad?" "Want to do a bootcamp?!"

I really hate the concept of dieting. My attitude is that you either exercise and watch the amount of 'garbage' you put in your mouth or you simply will be less than the epitome of health. You can survive that way. I have for the past few years. Oh sure, I make the occasional effort but as much as life has been changing I have gone to the convenient and comfortable and I can tell you, I feel like crap.

I miss my regular aerobic workouts. I miss my support network of co-workers and friends that were on this journey with me. That's exactly why I am now doing something that I think will work and I even have Chris on board. We have recently joined a group that is doing a Biggest Loser competition. Basically it's all about supporting your team, exercising, and living healthy through good choices. We started this week and I have to say, I'm having to coax myself into caring. I know that sounds bad but what I mean is that I've gotten comfortable with being comfortable even though I see pictures of myself and don't recognize who I'm looking at in the pictures.

We're on this ride for 20 weeks. We're keeping food journals, exercising at least once a week with our teams, and keeping a Facebook page where everyone involved can go for support. I have to wake up every day and set goals otherwise this will fail once again. I do feel held accountable by the fact that I know I'm doing this with a team and they are depending on me too.

My main concern IS health at this point. When I turned 31 last year it took a huge toll on me emotionally. I guess growing up, 30 was always old and 31 was even older. It means I'm in my 30's. I'm an adult. In a few years, I will be required to take tests at the doctor's office that were only suppose to be for the middle-aged or "old", which I'm not far from. EEEWWWWWW....or should it be "Argh!"

My goal is to get 75lbs. off my body by the end of 2012. 50 of those pounds will be gone by May, which is when the weight loss challenge will be over. My goal is to feel good again. My goal is to like to get up and put clothes on my body in the morning. My goal is to ease my back pain and my knee pain and any other pain that has arisen or been made worse from this weight gain. My goal is to make healthy food choices and to consciously care about those choices but not worry constantly about them. I have the tools for this, it's just putting them into action and ignoring the "meeeeh...I don't want to do that..." and just do it. In this case, matter over mind!

A new year is here but more importantly a new day that I have been given to organize and clean my space to make it mine and make it healthy. That includes this body and my surroundings. Old clothes and junk, including bad foods, will be hauled out of my house and it's going to be a place of calm. I need that. Constant anxiety is not good for the soul. Healthy space. Healthy me.

I'm looking forward to this. It's a challenge. I'm good at challenges. Here's to a healthier me...one more time.